Today's Fortune.

Keeping with my general joblessness and new found attraction/addiction to the internet, i've joined the Orkut Online Community (Who Do You Know?). It's a jolly decent community and i've managed to find a number of my Stanes friends whome i otherwise would have found it hard to communicate with... But anyway, leaving that and moving on, Orkut provides, as one of it's (presumably) Value-Added Features (though whatever Value it Adds, it is of a very dubious nature) a section called Today's Fortune. Today's Fortune can be viewed as soon as you log in (presumably for those among us who Can't Wait to Read Today's Fortune).

Well, I happened to log in (what sort of sentence is that anyway? Happened to log in... I mean how can one happen to log in? Technically i suppose I DID happen to log in... I mean it was an Event and it Happened, so i happened to log in... But if you scratch the surface, the sentence seems to rather suggest in a rather insidious and sinister way - not at all in an open way, mind you - that the Event occured by Accident, and not Design. Now why this sentence seems to suggest thus, I cannot say; but it does; and the sentence does not seem to take, in my view, a very wholesome approach to general sentencing by Hinting and Suggesting, rather than bravely just Saying it Right Out. I suppose it had to do with an unhappy childhood or perhaps being dropped on its' head when it was small... Anyway, I digress...) to Orkut the other day (thats another Funny Phrase (incidentally, thats a peculiarity in English... Look at this - Funny Phrase and Phunny Frase. Which sounds better?) which could mean yesterday, day-before, last week or even last year) and I found my Today's Forture as given below:


Today's fortune:
If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted

What I want to know is why in heaven's name you'd want to know Today's Fortune at all if all Today's Fortune is going to say is rubbish like this? I mean, its being unnecessarily supernumerary and to a ridiculous degree... If I wanted to know Today's Fortune, I'd want to know something useful, like what stocks to invest in or if i ought to take risks or something... Anything... Not utter claptrap like this... The people at Orkut are obviously not very creative. Why, I could come up with thousands and thousands of similar fortunes without thinking hard. Without even a furrow on my brow. For example:

"When you have lunch today, you are likely to feel full."

"Scratching your head today is on the cards."

"If you take off all your clothes and do an African war dance naked in the rain, the chances of the sun rising in the east are bright."

The guys at Orkut, I suppose, could also come up with these fortunes at a drop of a hat (assuming, of course, one drops it from a rather substantial height, and if it's aided by an updraft or two), but the whole Point of the Today's Fortune section is lost on me - I don't see what or how it could possibly justify it's existance. Even the weakest mind could see that it serves no forseeable purpose.... which leads me to believe that there is some Unforseen Purpose that must drive the makers of Today's Fortune on. Perhaps it is one that is simple and plain, such as annoying the daylights out of users. Or perhaps it is of a more subtle and elusive nature. Or perhaps we may never know. The secrets of the Masters may not be comprehensable to Mortals. What we might see as being Irritating and In Bad Taste may, in actuality, be a Lesson in Building Character and Moral Fibre... Ours is not to reason why, and all that jazz...

Meanwhile, have a nice day, and always keep in mind that the probability of a piano landing on your cranial cavity is neglegent.